Raining On The Ice Bucket Challenge Parade

It takes a special kind of knucklehead to see a hornets nest, realize the worst thing they could possibly do is run head first at it and still lack the common sense to walk away.

So here you go, hornets. Sting away, because I’ve had enough of the Ice Bucket Challenge.

ice bucket waste
Credit: Some Jackwagon Without A Soul

Unless you’ve just time traveled from 1996, you know that 1) the Dallas Cowboys are a pathetic football franchise, and 2) people are falling all over themselves to post videos to Facebook where they dump gallons of ice water over themselves and maybe send some money to the ALSA.

For those of you not nuanced in the fine art of sarcasm, I’m aware that this insanely popular fad has generated $41 million plus and counting in under a month. I can’t even begin to comprehend the flabbergasting nature of that figure, mainly because I continue to underestimate the power of people wanting to see their friends and family (and especially famous people) make asses out of themselves in public.

Usually it would be perfectly fine to question why America has lost its damn mind over the most captivating thing to hit the interwebs since “Chocolate Rain” (too dated?), but this time it’s for charity. So get on board with the madness or get the F out of the way!

Trust me. It’s not a good idea to take the perceived stance that you hope the Ice Bucket Challenge ends up as a headliner at next year’s Summerbash, never to be heard from again as Lou Gehrig’s disease goes uncured.

It will cost you at least 4 followers on Twitter (and probably a few more after this hits The Scoop newsstand), and strangers on your friend’s Facebook thread will toss insults at you while questioning if you ever step out of your mother’s basement to make the world a better place. All this for daring to ask the question, “Has this bit gone too far?”

In fairness to the Twitter followers who abandoned the snark express, I did claim that nothing was being accomplished, but 140 characters doesn’t exactly leave room for clarity and reason.

Thankfully for me, I’ve found others who have been putting in the work of analyzing if Ice Bucketers are a group whose deeds are beyond questioning.

One of the first responses to my hastily worded assault on freedom of expression was a gentleman from the fine state of California bringing up the obvious – yet not so obvious point for some – that dumping 5 gallons of water over your head is a big waste of a dwindling resource. And this guy is an Angels fan, so he knows a lot about wasting resources! Hello Josh Hamilton’s contract…

Jason Ruiz from the Long Beach Post took on the impossible task of calculating how much water has been deposited on the ground as checks are being deposited into the ALS research bank account.

It’s not an astronomical sum, but it’s enough to make you consider ways to cancel out the water you’re throwing down the drain by conserving elsewhere.

So if the water waste isn’t going to cause the lakes to dry up in 2 years as opposed to 10, then what is the real harm?

It all comes down to disposable income, and how much of it is disproportionately flowing to ALS instead of the other wealth of charities that people would otherwise donate to.

QZ.com’s William MacAskill used a lot of fancy words to explain how the amazing boon of money going to ALS is not by default a wonderful thing, and that was before another $38 million rolled in.

Don’t want to believe some egghead? How about the Dallas Mavericks’ owner and Shark Tank’s very own Mark Cuban? Because he doesn’t know anything about the wise investment of money, right?

It turns out that Cubes is also concerned that the massive amount of cash being brought in for ALS has tipped the scales against other very worthy causes that need the attention and money this phenomenon has diverted away.

If you’ve taken part in the Ice Bucket Challenge, you’re probably not some mindless drone sucking at the teet of social media fame with reckless abandon, but you’re also not the Mother Teresa of your time who is about to rid the world of the disease that gave Baltimore Orioles fans something to take their minds off of not winning a playoff series since 1983.

So give jackasses like me the benefit of the doubt that while we may have the nerve to wonder aloud just how great this Ice Bucket thing really is, we do have a soul and a heart that hopes ALS gets its ass kicked off the planet.

We just think there might be a more efficient way to go about it.

 

Dustin Copening is a Sports Contributor for The Scoop. Follow him on Twitter at @PFUtilityMan.


Founder’s Note: As many of you may have witnessed my personal Ice Bucket Challenge video (more like “profanity-laden nightmare of a moment”), you will know that we at The Scoop obviously support raising money for ALS research. I am extraordinarily grateful to those who contributed to my fundraising drive, as well as the many charitable causes that we have supported over the past weeks. While we are all on the same team when it comes to raising money to support others, it is troubling to see how vicious people have become when it comes to dissenting opinions on something as simple as dumping buckets of icewater on our heads. With this subject, much like many sports topics we discuss on social media on a daily basis, there will assuredly be differing opinions. What’s different about The Scoop is that we support all opinions, even the opinion that this mechanism has inherent flaws and can be even better if improved upon in time. Bashing people for having an opinion, even if it is unpopular, is not what we do here. And we don’t support it elsewhere. –Jamie

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One thought on “Raining On The Ice Bucket Challenge Parade”

  1. I thought I was insane thinking this way until reading this article. Now I feel less dumb for being overtly critical and bitter about having water dumped on my head. I did it.. and donated, but I don’t know why I’m the jerk for bringing up the fact that I wasn’t thrilled about participating with other heavier coworkers who were less than adequately clothed.

    Like

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