Friday’s First and 10 – Week 9

Week 9 of the NFL season comes on the heels of All Hallow’s Eve. Baby Andy Reid CostumeFor those who have lived under a rock or have not discussed with their pagan friends, All Hallow’s Eve is, naturally, what we now know as Halloween. And what’s more Halloween-y than picking between tricks or treats? This week’s fantasy football week will provide a bit of both. So in the spirit of TGIFFF (Thank God It’s Fantasy Football Friday) and #Halloween, don your best football-inspired costume and get ready for the weekend.


  1. RGIII: TREAT

The Washington versus Minnesota game poses many questions with regard to one Robert Griffin III. How can he perform in his first game back, under duress from a surprisingly solid Vikings D (against QBs)? Will he have his trademark contribution to the Washington running game? rgiii subwayHow many Subway commercials will we have to/get to see him and his lovely dreads? Perhaps the greatest recipient of his return would be his boy Pierre Garcon. RGIII loves him some Frenchy. In the past five games, Garcon has averaged less than five targets per game from Kirk Cousins and Colt McCoy. In the previous 15 games with RGIII at the helm, he targeted Pierre a whopping 10.3 times per game. So … fantasy owners, get PG into your lineups, especially in PPR leagues.

  1. Which Vick Will You Get?: TRICK

So any guesses which Vick will come to the ole ballpark Sunday? The crazy, whoop—whoop—whoop, scrambling style of old? Or the stumbling, fumbling, bumbling, negative fantasy points version, affectionately known as 2014 Mike Vick. In a week full of bye hell—when QBs like Rodgers, Stafford, Cutler and even Ryan and Orton are all riding your fantasy pines … AND Romo is iffy—many are looking for replacements this week. Yours truly is in this bind. I went out and was forced to pick up Vick in a league where Ryan is sitting and Romo is hurting. I’m praying to the #FantasyFootball god—in this case, that fantasy god unfortunately looks like Rex Ryan —that the Vick of old gets me points with his legs and doesn’t gift-wrap more than four fumbles for Andy Reid’s boys. I’m asking a lot; in fact, I’m sorta spooked to do it. Anyone else feeling risky?

  1. Rams RBs: TRICK

Week 8 saw the snap count for Ram’s RBs as follows: Tre Mason (19), Benny Cunningham (18), Zac Stacy (15). The Jeff Fisher School of Belichick Trickery left us hanging. Only one week after the Tre Mason Show launched, when Mason had an 18/85/1 statline versus the Seahawks, the Rams went back to a true, equal three-headed monster. Or, more appropriately said, a three-headed lamb, as none of the three eclipsed 35 total yards last week. So, the trick here will be to know which of the backs takes the lead role. Bonus trick? Is anyone daring enough to start any of them versus the Niners Sunday? Friends don’t let friends start Rams RBs against San Francisco.

  1. Giants and Colts: TREAT
USA Today
USA Today

There’s a young Amish man residing in Indianapolis these days. He’s on top of the (fantasy football) world. [To date, Andrew Luck ranks as the top scoring player in all of fantasy.]

Reuters
Reuters

There’s a bewildered-looking, big-city boy relentlessly striving for respect … not just in fantasy football, but in his own family. [To date, Eli Manning is the 16th-rated fantasy QB.] Having said that, this game could be a fantasy treat. The Colts defense just gave up 639 yards and 51 points last week to the Steelers. That’s scary! And their top corner, Vontae Davis, is almost assuredly at less than 100%, potentially opening up the secondary for some bigger hits in the passing game. So, Eli and Luck—it’s a given Amish Andrew will find Hilton and his teammates with relative ease—should be happily passing out Halloween prizes for each of their fantasy recipients. This game should be a treat, so get your Colts and Giants into your lineups.

  1. Brady versus Manning: TREAT

Not only are these two legitimate household names—beyond the world of sports—each are legendary winners and leaders on the field. Both guys rank in the Top 10 (real football) in passing yards, completions, TD passes and QB rating. With regards to fantasy, over the past four weeks, they are the top two fantasy QBs in football, averaging 27.1 (Brady) and 26.1 (Manning) points per game. There’s not much terrifying about playing these two, even with potentially inclement weather in Foxboro Sunday afternoon. It’s pretty safe to say we should see a fantasy treat in this one.

  1. Tony Romo: TRICK or TREAT?

Will Tony Romo treat America’s team with his presence? Or will he trick us and pull a ghost-routine, by not showing up. Literally. A skeletal look at Romo’s surgically-repaired yet re-injured back may be the most talked about national health crisis since Obamacare. If Romo doesn’t go, the ‘Boys will be led by no-longer-whippersnapper, Brandon Weeden. Talk about scary. Reminder: Weeden was let go by the Browns. Need I say more? To be fair, BWubs—yes, I just gave a slow, over the hill, redheaded backup QB a trendy nickname … because, as we all know, everything’s bigger in Texas!—looked serviceable in his 12 plays on Monday Night. Yet, if the Cowboys hopes are in the hands of said BWubs, I’m not starting any Dallas players not named DeMarco or Dez. Are you brave enough to do so?


Eats

In case I’ve not made it clear, today is Halloween, or Stuff Your Face With Everything Chocolate Day. And here in the United States, we don’t do anything half-assed, of course. So that means there should be enough sugar-coated treats floating around every household in America to feed … Honey Boo Boo. So, splurge on those super-sized leftover candy bars, assuring yourself to a sugar-induced stupor that should last you until our eating binge holiday … Thanksgiving.

Being high on sugar or chocolate is no excuse to not stay strong, show kindness and have NO RAGRETS.

[NOTE: This week’s NFL stats courtesy of ProFootballFocus.com. Fantasy stats are courtesy of FantasyPros.com.]


Jay Marks is the Fantasy Football Lead for The Scoop. Follow him on Twitter at @FFHottieAsst.

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#FantasyFootballCostumes, from Guest Writer Diane Sevenay

Tom Berg/Icon SMI/Newscom
Tom Berg/Icon SMI/Newscom

“Boo!” 

The 2014 fantasy football season already feels like Halloween with its share of superheroes (Andrew Luck), ghosts (Calvin Johnson), Cowboys (DeMarco Murray), and criminals (Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson).  So what better way to spend this diabetes-inducing holiday than by dressing as your favorite fantasy football hero?

Without further ado, I’d like to present…

#FantasyFootballCostumes   *Feel free to play along on Twitter.*


Super Creepy Ben Roethlisberger

-A redundant costume, because Big Ben is already SUPER CREEPY.

Ben Roethlisberger Looks Drunk


Peyton Manning’s Forehead

-Huge costume. Literally.

Peyton Sheriff Woody


Slutty Antonio Cromartie

-Cromartie has 74 children with 81 different mothers.  Feel free to show cleavage.

USA Today Sports
USA Today Sports

Ray Rice, America’s Sweetheart

-A horrible costume based on a horrible human being.


Amish Andrew Luck

-Andrew Luck’s beard is not allowed to use electricity.

USATSI
USATSI

Eli Manning Face

-Are you crying?  Sleeping?  Having a seizure?  If it looks like a combination of all three, that’s the costume.

NFL Network
NFL Network

Tom Brady, with Uggs

-Because shoes make the quarterback. Or in this case, women’s shoes make the quarterback.

FantasticalFootball.com
FantasticalFootball.com

Brett Favre’s Penis

-There are at least five Twitter accounts named after this tiny costume.

[NOTE: Picture intentionally left blank. Um, no one wants to see pictures of that. You hear that, Mr. Favre? No one.]


Baby Andy Reid

-Because regular Andy Reid is nowhere near this cute.

Baby Andy Reid Costume


Josh Gordon

-Marijuana is sold separately.

FantasyFootballOverdose.com
FantasyFootballOverdose.com

Manti Te’o

-Enjoy Halloween with your “girlfriend” right by your side.

@HumbleSportsGuy
@HumbleSportsGuy

Tony Romo’s Surgically Repaired Back

-Sometimes a great costume hurts.

Fort Worth Star-Telegram/Michael Prengler
Fort Worth Star-Telegram/Michael Prengler

Wes Welker, Extremely High Munchkin

-A tiny wide receiver all messed up on “Molly” is the PERFECT costume for your child.

KorkedBats.com
KorkedBats.com

Hans and Franz and Aaron Rodgers

-This three-person costume will PUMP YOU UP.

State Farm
State Farm

Diane Sevenay, a friend to The Scoop, is a writer and comedian who claims that she “invented the Internet.”  Follow her immediately on Twitter at @diane_7a or face dire consequences. Check out all of The Scoop’s great content, including more Fantasy Football snark, atTheScoopZone.com!

A note from Fantasy Football Lead, Jay Marks: Diane and I connected due to our shared love of comedy and fantasy football. She attributes her unique and off-kilter take on fantasy football to her being “off her meds.” If there is a funnier, more irreverent fantasy sports writer than Diane, it’s news to her. 

Fantasy Football Mid-Season Awards, from Guest Writer Tyler Dalton

Pool-PartyI was tired, packed around a bunch of college students, and worst of all, I needed another beer. The neighborhood I resided in was throwing a pool party just a few days before school started to celebrate another completed summer, even though most of the people there were at the pool every day.

I preferred to think of it as a celebration after my local fantasy draft.

My league is a tight knit group, so it wasn’t shocking that two of my friends were in the corner of the pool shouting at each other. Was it over a girl? Was it over a spilled drink? No, it was about Arian Foster. My friends were living the college version of The League, the show that used to be funny but now serves up only a few cheap laughs. What started as a conversation between a couple of friends quickly sucked in half of our league.

The debate raged on, including topics such as Julio Jones’ ability to bounce back, and how Cam Newton would produce with hardly any weapons. Insults were dropped, glares were given, and plenty of girls “couldn’t even.” What was fun at the time became totally irrelevant once opening night was upon us.

See, no matter how you feel about your team, the countless mock drafts, endless research, bookstore trips to check out every fantasy football magazine you can find, fan forums, and everything in-between are enough to make any normal person feel crazy. Because you just can’t predict fantasy football. Your sleepers will hit the snooze button and your busts will bust out to personal highs.

In honor of that craziness, I present my mid-season awards. We’re going to laugh at our pain, crown our achievements, and maybe we’ll even escape our regrets.


Every year, some no-name players bust out for a couple scores one week,and everyone flocks to the waiver wire, fully knowing there’s a pretty good chance that will be their best performance all season.

USATSI
USATSI

This year, that honor goes to Allen Hurns. His 100-yard game and two scores left owners swooning over a potential breakout player in Jacksonville, a place where it just doesn’t happen very often. How quickly Hurns fell into disappointment, not even coming close to his opening weekend numbers for the next seven weeks.


The next player I would like to mention is sort of like a newer Adam Sandler movie; you have no idea why you’re there, you probably panicked, and now you’ll have to live with the regret, probably forever.

NFL.com
NFL.com

Say hello to Doug Martin. Despite his drawbacks, he was still picked high in the 2nd round, at least according to his average draft position. With quite an established medical report, and the mess that was going on in Tampa Bay, I wanted no part of him. Unfortunately, some people had to fall into that trap. Hopefully you owners dug yourselves out in time. Hopefully. “Why do we fall down? To get back up.” I’m pretty sure that was in a Batman movie and also probably some other places, point being … just be Batman.


How about a positive award? How about a mid-to-late round guy who is bringing you a lot of fantasy success?

USA Today
USA Today

You can go many ways here, but how about we highlight Greg Olsen. The former Miami product never seems to get enough love. Which is weird because Cam Newton can’t throw the ball to invisible bodies, and Olsen is actually a pretty talented player. He’s on pace for a career year in every category, and has developed quite the buddy-cop chemistry with Cam. Pretty excited about this duo in Lethal Weapon 5.


I can’t think of a better player for my next award than Tom Brady. I’ll give you a little while to guess what it is. By the way, after seeing Gone Girl and Fury, I have to tell you that I have pretty high expectations for films for the rest of the year. I also like to sneak in Hawaiian rolls with some slices of ham to the movies.

Associated Press
Associated Press

Okay, anyway, the award that I’m giving to Brady is for being that guy who you don’t give up on; you stick it out. Or, the guy you traded for because some other owner gave up on him. Either would suffice here. Now, as far as my knowledge of the American Revolution, it really only comes from my middle school textbook. Along with that Mel Gibson movie and one of those Assassin’s Creed games. Brady’s season went from the Battles of Lexington and Concord to straight stabbing Red Coats with the American flag. He’s dropping bombs like on Bunker Hill. Anyway, if you’re still reading, Brady is on fire now. Every Sunday in Foxboro is like the 4th of July.


My last award goes to the flash-in-the-pan guys. The “I need to score a touchdown” or “I was worthless this week” guys.

New York Post
New York Post

Larry Donnell, Terrance Williams, Kendall Wright, Stepfan Taylor, Eddie Lacy, and well, pretty much whomever is on your team that frustrates you every week. This award is for the people. The people who maybe almost did major damage to a pool table after a bad shot because they saw Donnell goose-egg after his outrageous game the week before. This also goes out to the guy, who is my neighbor, who was drunk one night and said his only problem was drafting LeSean McCoy first overall. Just let it out guys.


Tyler Dalton is a guest contributor at The Scoop. He spends his nights in Tuscaloosa, either writing, or in a bar quoting Arrow. Obviously, he’s living the life. Outside of Alabama losing, his usual stress comes from setting his lineup in a million different fantasy leagues and a fridge with no beer. By the time you’ve read this he’s probably tweeted. You can follow him on Twitter @tylerd91.

A note from Fantasy Football Lead, Jay Marks (@FFHottieAsst): I became aware of Tyler from his days of stellar writing for TopTeamFantasy. Since then, I’ve chosen to remain friends from a distance, due to his blatant Crimson Tide devotion. And the fact that I don’t live in Alabama.

The Voice of Reason: Five for Fighting … in the NFL?

NFL-logoOur beloved, NFL, formerly known as the National Football League, may be changing its acronym.

 

It could be the, No Fun League, or the Not For Long league, possibly the, Non-Functioning League!

Perhaps the best acronym would be the NUMEROUS FLAG LEAGUE! To help illustrate my point, let me show you this table. It displays the number of penalties called per season, for the past five years, and the corresponding lost yards due to penalties.

2014 to-date 2013 2012 2011 2010

1679
penalties

3245
penalties

3319
penalties

3374
penalties

3217
penalties

14,474 yds 28,029 yds 28077 yds 28,487 yds 27,045 yds

Despite all the extra, added benefits that offenses enjoy, it appears that the flag totals are remaining constant. The amount of penalties called, and the yardage amassed, appear to be in line with previous years. I bet you can guess which penalties are the most frequent. Ready?

In the last three years, the following are the most popular penalties called, by a LONG shot!

  1. Offensive Holding (Who saw that one coming?)
  2. False Start (Really? THAT one??)

false startThere are NO other penalties that come close to these two. The interesting tidbit I found was that in 2011 the reverse was true; False Start was the most popular penalty called, followed by Offensive Holding. It was this way for several years.

It’s very true that you could ostensibly call holding on every play, but now there are many more penalties added to the rule book.

  1. Hands to the Face
  2. Horse Collar Tackling
  3. Roughing the Passer (You can no longer make contact with the QB above the shoulders.)
  4. Defensive Holding (Yeah I know, but they are just NOW calling it.)
  5. Illegal Contact (See above, and thank you Seahawks defenders.)
  6. Pre-Snap Movement, aka False Start (No more head bobbing, QBs too.)
  7. Lining Up Over the Center on PATs, FGs, and/or Punts
  8. Use of NFL Equipment as a Prop (No dunking on goals, but leaping into stands is ok.)

It’s no wonder NFL games, which used to be a good 3-hour investment, are being turned into 3.5-hour marathons. It’s about who can outlast who.

Onto the officials who help determine, or in some cases literally determine, the outcome of games. If I were to ask you which referee’s crew called the most penalties, could you tell me? Do you know? Lucky for you, I do. Here they are as of two weeks ago.

images (1)
Carl Cheffers

The number one referee whose crew calls the most penalties is Carl Cheffers.

According to the data from ESPN, if you see Carl show up to your game, expect a long, drawn out affair.

images (2)
Clete Blakeman

However, if you get Clete Blakeman, he tends to let the players decide the outcome.

 

I have a great idea on how to curb penalties. What if the NFL treated in-game penalties like NHL does?

For every holding call, the offending team plays a man down for 2 plays, a power play of sorts. For every false start penalty, you play short-handed for 1 play.

Personal fouls get a “5-minute major,” where the offending team plays short-handed for 5 plays. Yes, I know this sounds silly, but so does turning a 3-hour game into a 4-hour beatdown.

Sure, this solution may be far-fetched, but the point is that there’s nothing wrong with brainstorming something new and innovative when it comes to assessing penalties. (But, can you imagine the damage you could do playing 9 players vs. 11? Exciting! Scoring would go through the roof. Then, that would make a 4-hour game bearable.)

Just a thought… What creative ideas do you have? I’d love to hear them! Hit me up on Twitter and give me “the scoop!”


Ronnie Garcia is the Voice of Reason at The Scoop. He is also an avid guitarist, educator, and all around smarmy guy. You can follow him on twitter @CapnDD.

Tuesday’s Takeaways from the Trenches — Week 8

I took a one-week hiatus from my preview column last week. And what happened? Fantasy Fireworks! Coincidence? Perhaps I’m a fantasy jinx.

rgthinkcreative.com
rgthinkcreative.com

Week 8 of the 2014 NFL season is complete. And a historic week it was. Christmas came early for fake football nerds everywhere, as we were treated with touchdowns, tons of yardage, throwing the ball out of the proverbial yard, scoring … and LOTS of it.

A mind-boggling six—count ‘em, SIX—players topped the 30-point mark in fantasy football last week, in standard scoring. And if you lean PPR variety, that number reaches EIGHT. Over the first seven weeks of the this season, there’s been an average of less than TWO players topping 30 points, so it’s a significant leap.

pantherzfans.com
pantherzfans.com

What caused the jump this week? I read somewhere it’s the culmination of the cyclical, yet uncertain odds of an individual’s performance capacity … combined with the abstract nature of negative physiological human probability … combined with air-circulated global, ozone patterns … combined with the incessant, colloquial coach-speak—and Mad Chucky faces—thrown out by Jon Gruden on a weekly basis. Granted, I wrote it down earlier, then I read it back to myself. But, technically, I DID read it somewhere.

Whatever the case, let’s recap Week 8.


Some Stats That Make You Go Hmmmm

  • QB: The quarterback formerly known as The Neckbeard, Kyle Orton, finished as the #4 scoring QB of the week.
    buffalobills.com
    buffalobills.com

    Just four weeks removed from backing up EJ Manuel, this week he outscored every QB not named Big Ben, Tom Terrific and Amish Andrew Luck.

  • QB Part Deux: In his two series of play, Brandon Weeden (6.3)—oh, Twitter was gushing with stupendous Weeden material Monday night, continue reading for stellar samplings—outscored both Cam Newton (5.2) and Joe Flacco (5.0).
  • RB: Backup Lorenzo Taliaferro (18.9) scored more than LeSean McCoy (9.7) and Marshawn Lynch (6.4) combined.
  • RB Part Deux: Mark Ingram, who had essentially not played since Week 2, returned to a suddenly bare New Orleans backfield to outscore every RB other than Foster, Forte and Charles. Fantasy owners surely fantasize as to his value if he owned the Saints backfield. Weekly bonanza?
  • WR: In a game where Andrew Luck threw 45 times, had 400 yards and completed 26 of those passes, and the 1A WR was out (Reggie Wayne), the depth-chart #3 WR in Indy had one catch for 27 points. Ya think Hakeem Nicks has lost a step? I even thought I saw him playing DE for the Saints. Oh wait, that’s Akiem Hicks.
  • WR Part Deux: See the Young Guns point below, but … three of the Top 9 WRs this week are rookies.
  • TE: Coming into the week as the #2 fantasy TE, averaging 11.3 per game, Greg Olsen finished the week with 1.6 points, or good for #36. Among TEs. Yikes.

Quick Hits

  • Gotta Be the Uggs: Since many in the fantasy community left Tom Brady for dead after the first four weeks of the season, Tom Terrific put on his big-boy-boots (Uggs, of course). Over the past four weeks, he’s put on quite the clinic, leading all fantasy quarterbacks in scoring in Weeks 5-8.

    I’m very thankful, since I handpicked Brady as my QB bounce-back, sleeper candidate this preseason. I just figured he’d be looking at Peyton’s historic 2013 season and not want to be out-headlined. Speaking of … Week 9’s Peyton-versus-Tom matchup could be as juicy as they come.

  • Young Guns. Or Is That Young’Uns? Former NFL coach Brian Billick and NFL.com contributor said, “Wide receiver has become one of the toughest positions for rookies to adapt to in the pros,” and explains further here. Well, Week 8 just chewed that theory up and spit out out. Check out these cray cray numbers from a handful of young WR brethren.

    And, other than Benjamin, all finished in the Top 16 of fantasy WRs this week. Keep it up, diaper dandies; keep it up. 

  • Bye Week Blues: Week 9 sees six teams sitting out on the bye week, as Atlanta, Buffalo, Chicago, Detroit, Green Bay and Tennessee rest. Plan accordingly; some big-time fantasy names will be stuck on your bench. QBs like Rodgers, Cutler and Stafford. RBs include Forte and Lacy. And WRs of note are Julio, Sammy Watkins, the Bears boys, as well as Jordy and Cobb. [NOTE: As many of you know, I live just outside of Nashville, where the Titans play. Did you notice I didn’t include any Titans on this list of bye week sits? There’s a reason, peeps.] It should be implied here, but roster manipulation and waiver claims this week are likely as important as any week this year. Follow Brady’s lead and put on YOUR big-boy-boots.
  • Twitter. On. Fire. As I referenced, Twitter was nothing short of gold, during Monday Night Football, when we were treated to—for at least part of the 4th quarter—a quarterback showdown between former Cleveland castoffs, Colt McCoy and Brandon Weeden. Here’s just a sampling of the twitter magic you may have missed:

 

Never change, #FantasyTwitter. It was almost more entertaining than the solid MNF game.

All right, everyone, enjoy your post-fireworks week, get your waiver claims in and stay strong, show kindness and have NO RAGRETS.

[NOTE: This week’s NFL stats courtesy of ProFootballFocus.com. Standard scoring fantasy stats courtesy of FantasyPros.com]


Jay Marks is the Fantasy Football Lead at The Scoop. Follow him on Twitter at @FFHottieAsst.

 

Takeaways from the Trenches – Week 7

Week 7 is in the books.

AP Photo/Gail Burton
AP Photo/Gail Burton

And I don’t mean to brag, but … it was my first undefeated week of the season. Though my fantasy football brags may not be as top-shelf as @TheDailyTay‘s, I’ll take an undefeated fake football weekend … especially when I survived starting Matt Ryan in two leagues. Thank you, Demaryius Thomas, DeMarco Murray and Roddy White.


Quick Hits

  • Fear the Beard(s)

This week, I think I’m most proud of the results in my Duck Dynasty Points Per Beard (PPB) league, where it all came down to a classic Monday Night Football clash for the ages.

CBS
CBS

Ryan Fitzpatrick and his Ivy League beard versus the Steelers DST, of course led by PPB veteran, the legendary Brett Keisel.

profootballtalk.nbcsports.com
profootballtalk.nbcsports.com

Oh, the drama. I’m certain you can feel said drama emanating through your computer screen / device as you read. By now, you know how it went down; Keisel’s classic facial furniture—and his 4th quarter interception—overcame Fitztragic’s younger, less experienced face fuzz—and his early MNF prowess—to prevail in this battle for the ages.

[Note: There is no Duck Dynasty Points Per Beard league. At least that I know of. But if there is one, I need to be all over it. Especially since my own personal stubble project has finally eclipsed the peach fuzz stage. It’s no @JFOH_Razzball, with his impressive display of chin bristles. But at least my goals are set high. I want to be Jack Full of Hate when I grow up.]

[Note Part Deux: If you really needed my assurances in that first note, then you probably don’t need to read my stuff.]

  • Did You #GetPercy’d?

I don’t mean to brag, but I do revel in the fact that I am obviously the catalyst behind the shocking Percy Harvin trade from Seattle to the J-E-T-S.

NY Daily News
NY Daily News

After all, I have taken to the campaign trail, launching nationwide support groups for anyone and everyone who can claim, #IGotPercy’d. After fantasy-relevant calls / non-calls in Weeks 2 and 5 cost countless fantasy owners wins, some owners—ahem—cried foul, or #IGotPercy’d. Hence, the nationwide revolution was activated. And friends, as it is a political voting year, take time to show your support by using this hashtag early and often. Because, if you think about it, this proclamation is now a legitimate battle cry for fantasy owners (myself and … well, there must be at least another one), entire NFL franchises (Seattle? The Vikings?) and even other real football players (Golden Tate?). Or does that last one just put a black-eye on this whole story? I don’t mean to brag, but … #SeeWhatIDidThere? Friends, I am #ClipboardJaysus, and I support this message.

  • It Hurts When You Get Buffalo’d

You may recall that before the start of the 2013 season, the Bills coaching staff famously cautioned or bragged to whomever would listen—granted, most who cared are fake footballers like you and I—that they would allow CJ Spiller to tote the rock until he threw up. Well, you’ve heard the famous saying ‘A year late and an ailment short’ (or … something like that).

Jamie Germano
Jamie Germano

They did allow Spiller to run until he … broke his collarbone. You say vomit, I say fractured skeletal mass. It does suck for Clifford Spiller, Jr. [You know me. I like to employ nicknames whenever possible. In this case, however, I’m going all reverse nickname on you, using his given—and generally unfamiliar—name.] Spiller’s window of capturing that Buffalo backfield had just opened, with a multi-week injury to venerable teammate Fred Jackson occurring previously in Sunday’s game. Said window then immediately slammed shut. The subsequent window has now slightly cracked open for either of that dynamic duo of Bryce Brown or Anthony Dixon. Can either take the ball and run? And then regurgitate? Let’s hope the TV cameras don’t capture that.

  • What the Helfet?

Gavin Escobar, Cooper Helfet, Jeff Cumberland, Daniel Fells, Lance Kendricks. What is this list, you ask? The final contestants on The Bachelor? The newest reincarnation of ‘N Sync? Ladies and gentlemen, I present half of your Top 10 fantasy TEs for Week 7 (standard scoring). Granted, Jimmy Graham was effectively PUP (Physically Unable to Perform), but otherwise, the normal TE crop was in play. They (several of them) just didn’t actually show up to play. Who was not in this week’s Top 10? Gronk, The Big Weirdo (Martellus Bennett), Jordan Reed, Orange Julius, Delanie Walker and Jordan Cameron. As @Pat_Thorman said …


(More) Stats That Make You Go Hmmmm

Any given Sunday, people. Any given Sunday.

  • QB: Philip Rivers, who entered the week as the #2 overall fantasy score through six weeks, finished as the #47 scorer for Week 7. He finished with fewer points this week than the Jaguars and the Vikings DST. Read that again.
  • QB Part Deux: Matt Ryan, Jay Cutler, Andy Dalton were each outscored by Charlie Whitehurst. What, you thought I’d get through a column without touting my boy, #ClipboardJesus?
  • RB: Denard Robinson and Stepfan Taylor finished Top 9 for RB rankings this week, ahead of Jamaal Charles, Andre Ellington and Arian Foster.
  • RB Part Deux: Tre Mason (14.5), who was inactive through the first five weeks of the year, scored more than combined scores of Marshawn Lynch (7.1), Alfred Morris (5.4) and Giovani Bernard (1.6).
  • WR: Julio Jones (5.6) barely cracked the Top 50 for WR’s and finished at #162 in fantasy scoring. Who said offensive line doesn’t matter?
  • WR Part Deux: The stud Bears WR combo of Brandon Marshall (4.8) and Alshon Jeffery (0.9) totaled less fantasy points than did Carolina’s Brenton Bersin (8.1). Uh. Wow.
  • TE:
    themccordlist.com
    themccordlist.com

    The aforementioned Cooper Helfet (12.1), Seattle’s 3rd string tight end—this pic is for you, ladies—scored more fantasy points than Martellus Bennett (5.8), Julius Thomas (2.7), Delanie Walker (1.7), Heath Miller (1.3) and Jordan Cameron (0.5) combined.

 

 

 


Shhhh … Let’s Keep It Our Little Secret

Soooo, I was wrong.

  • I thought Matt Ryan “may just toss a couple of TD’s and 250 yards” on Sunday. He threw for 228 and a TD. Oh, he also lost a fumble. Sigh.
  • Of Justin Forsett, I said, “there’s a good chance he scores, and big, this Sunday.” Unfortunately, Forsett did not score, and finished with only 9.5 points. 

My Arm CAN Reach Around To Pat Myself On The Back

Yessssss, I was right!

  • I said Raider Andre Holmes would “come back to earth.” After a 24-point Week 6 game, Holmes scored only 3.4, finishing outside the Top 60 WRs.
  • Justin Hunter had averaged nearly 12 standard points per game in his previous two games. I didn’t think that could continue. He caught one pass for 6 yards. Crickets.

So, if you want to brag, tweet us your best Week 7 accomplishment, and we’ll retweet it for the world to hear. And remember, friends, stay strong, show kindness and have NO RAGRETS.

[NOTE: This week’s NFL stats courtesy of ProFootballFocus.com. Standard fantasy stats courtesy of FantasyPros.com]


Jay Marks is the Fantasy Football Lead for The Scoop. Follow him on Twitter at @FFHottieAsst.

The Voice of Reason: Do You Like Topsy-Turvy Football?

Here we sit, at Week # 8 in Pro Football and Week # 9 in College Football.

It. Is. Insane.

LITERALLY. INSANE.

myfoxmemphisLet’s tackle the college game first. (Get it? Tackle? I’ll show myself out.) At any rate, if I would have told you last year that the #1 team in the nation in mid-October 2014 would be Mississippi State, you’d have told me to step away from the crack pipe. Crazy thing is, THEY ARE.  Want another crazy fact? Ole Miss is #3!

Never, in any alternate universe, would you ever expect those teams to be in the top 10, much less the top 5!

You have your usual schools, the Alabamas, the Florida States, the Auburns and Notre Dames. Here come the relative newcomers into the “NCAA Playoff” discussion. Where are Oklahoma, Texas, Texas A&M? They are struggggaaaaling. If you are a fan of parity, then you are loving this. LOVING this.

I have to admit to rooting for the “little guys” like Mississippi State. I am a huge fan of their quarterback, Dak Prescott. He’s had a great year, as has Ole Miss’s Bo Wallace. Both of these young men should be in the “Heisman talk.”

It is fun to watch on Wednesday nights, Thursday nights, Friday nights, and Saturdays to see what these guys pull out of their collective sleeves. College football is fun, and if you aren’t a fan, you are missing out on some terrific football. Those who were once on top, are now at the bottom, and the bottom teams are on top. Is this GREAT or what?

Now on to the pros.

usp-nfl_-arizona-cardinals-at-seattle-seahawks-4_3_rx512_c680x510Last year’s champions, the Seattle Seahawks are in trouble. They are only a game out of last place in the NFC West. The Seahawks are officially on a losing streak. If that sentence looks weird, it’s because you haven’t read it in over two years. Before Sunday’s loss to the Rams, and last week’s loss to the Cowboys, the last time Seattle lost two games in a row was during Weeks 7 and 8 in 2012.

Is it time to hit the panic button in Seattle? They still have two games against the division-leading Cardinals, the streaking 49’ers, the KC Chiefs, and the dangerous Philadelphia Eagles. They could potentially miss the playoffs. They are sitting at a crossroads at 3-3.

According to ESPN stats, teams that start a season with 3 wins and 3 losses make the playoffs 38.3% of the time. 38% of the time. Seattle has some work to do, and their schedule doesn’t get any easier.

Across the rest of the NFC, there are a few more surprises, for sure.

The Dallas Cowboys, who had an awful defense last year, were picked by many pundits to finish last or next to last in the NFC east. They are arguably the hottest team in the NFL right now, ripping off 6 straight wins. We all knew that they had a talented offense, with Romo, Dez, and Witten, but the defense with Rolando McClain,and a bunch of no names? They are playing well over their heads.

In the tough NFC West, everyone knew that Seattle and San Francisco were going to be there, but who saw the Cardinals? No one. The fact that they have used three quarterbacks and still managed to win, is a testament to the Cardinals coaches.

Up in the frigid NFC North, the Detroit Lions are making noise in a division that has long belonged to the Green Bay Packers and Chicago Bears. Granted, the Lions and Packers are tied for the lead, but anyone who saw that coming should have bought a lottery ticket.

Head down to the NFC South, and you find a Carolina Panthers team that is up and down, but still leading the division with a 3-3 record. What happened to the New Orleans Saints? The Atlanta Falcons? A lot of “meh” going on there. Matty Ice has been COLD. As in not hot.

The NFL prides itself on the “Any Given Sunday” mantra. So far this year, it has proven true. There is a lot of football left to be played, and anyone can be beat on any Sunday. I love it. It has the feeling of a season where any team can get hot and make the playoffs and then win it all. See the NY Giants.

I hope you like this topsy-turvy sports world. I know I do.


Ronnie Garcia is the Voice of Reason at The Scoop. He is also an avid guitarist, educator, and all around smarmy guy. You can follow him on twitter @CapnDD.