The 2014 fantasy football season already feels like Halloween with its share of superheroes (Andrew Luck), ghosts (Calvin Johnson), Cowboys (DeMarco Murray), and criminals (Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson). So what better way to spend this diabetes-inducing holiday than by dressing as your favorite fantasy football hero?
Without further ado, I’d like to present…
#FantasyFootballCostumes *Feel free to play along on Twitter.*
Super Creepy Ben Roethlisberger
-A redundant costume, because Big Ben is already SUPER CREEPY.
Peyton Manning’s Forehead
-Huge costume. Literally.
Slutty Antonio Cromartie
-Cromartie has 74 children with 81 different mothers. Feel free to show cleavage.
Ray Rice, America’s Sweetheart
-A horrible costume based on a horrible human being.
Amish Andrew Luck
-Andrew Luck’s beard is not allowed to use electricity.
Eli Manning Face
-Are you crying? Sleeping? Having a seizure? If it looks like a combination of all three, that’s the costume.
Tom Brady, with Uggs
-Because shoes make the quarterback. Or in this case, women’s shoes make the quarterback.
Brett Favre’s Penis
-There are at least five Twitter accounts named after this tiny costume.
[NOTE: Picture intentionally left blank. Um, no one wants to see pictures of that. You hear that, Mr. Favre? No one.]
Baby Andy Reid
-Because regular Andy Reid is nowhere near this cute.
-Marijuana is sold separately.
-Enjoy Halloween with your “girlfriend” right by your side.
Tony Romo’s Surgically Repaired Back
-Sometimes a great costume hurts.
Wes Welker, Extremely High Munchkin
-A tiny wide receiver all messed up on “Molly” is the PERFECT costume for your child.
Hans and Franz and Aaron Rodgers
-This three-person costume will PUMP YOU UP.
Diane Sevenay, a friend to The Scoop, is a writer and comedian who claims that she “invented the Internet.” Follow her immediately on Twitter at @diane_7a or face dire consequences. Check out all of The Scoop’s great content, including more Fantasy Football snark, atTheScoopZone.com!
A note from Fantasy Football Lead, Jay Marks: Diane and I connected due to our shared love of comedy and fantasy football. She attributes her unique and off-kilter take on fantasy football to her being “off her meds.” If there is a funnier, more irreverent fantasy sports writer than Diane, it’s news to her.