If your favorite Southeastern Conference football team was a stock in the market, who would they be? Would they be a savvy tech company, or a stodgy old blue chip? This is a look at which company each SEC most closely resembles.
Florida $MSFT Florida was the top program in the country when Urban Meyer was at the helm. Now they are under new leadership and everyone needs to take a wait-and-see approach as to how Jim McElwain works out. They have immediate access to an unlimited amount of talent, and could be the trend-setter in college football with the right man in charge. Like Microsoft, they used to be great.
Alabama $GE The Crimson Tide is the biggest, baddest football program in the country. They are a blue chip program that always produces solid results. Alabama has been the definition of consistency under Nick Saban.
Texas A&M $TSLA Like Tesla, the Aggies are led by a brilliant mind in Kevin Sumlin. Although they have had flashes of greatness, everyone is waiting for the Aggies to explode on the field and measure up to the recruiting hype.
Auburn $GS The Tigers feature good leadership, good talent, a proven system, and are poised to be strong for years to come. Just like with Goldman Sachs, there are detractors from the outside who question whether Auburn has achieved their success through nefarious means.
Arkansas $UPS It is tempting to compare the Razorbacks to Walmart for obvious reasons, but the program resembles the people in brown more. Arkansas slowly grinds away and gets the job done. There is nothing exciting about the Arkansas offense, but it wins games, kind of like the way UPS does a solid job day in and day out.
Mississippi State $KING King Digital Entertainment produced Candy Crush Saga and was wildly successful. Their failure to produce another game that has approached Candy Crush‘s popularity has caused the stock price to drop 28 percent since their initial public offering. One must wonder whether MSU will see a similar drop-off on the field once quarterback Dak Prescott graduates.
Ole Miss $AXP In the 1980s, the American Express card in your wallet was a status symbol. The people at AMEX still think it is 30 years later. Similarly, Ole Miss fans think that their football program is a traditional power because they experienced success in the 1950s, and the Grove has some cache as a tailgate spot. Rebel fans can look down upon Mississippi State just like AMEX execs can look down upon Discover card holders.
Georgia $APPL Apple is an extremely successful company that produces stylish products. Georgia has been consistently successful on the field, and regularly produces first-round draft picks. Techies will argue that Droid products are more capable than their more aesthetically pleasing counterparts from Apple. Alabama and Auburn fans will point out that they have won more national titles in the last decade than UGA, despite their recent run of elite skill players and NFL talent.
Kentucky $BEAM Does this need any explanation? The number-one producer of bourbon in the world happens to be located in Kentucky. Most of the Wildcat fans partake in their homegrown product while counting the days until basketball season begins. The Jim Beam distillery was de-listed after a private company purchased all the shares; some Wildcat fans believe their football team has been de-listed for the past decade.
Missouri $F Ford was the only American car company that did not require a government bailout. They quietly made a profit while no one was watching. Everyone forgets that the Tigers won the East the year before when making predictions for the next season. Mizzou is not a flashy program, but they have consistently won since joining the conference.
Tennessee $TWTR The Volunteers have amazing potential just like Twitter. Both the Vols and Twitter stock have under-performed up to this point, but are poised to break out in a big way. The Vols have a killer app in quarterback Josh Dobbs, while Twitter has Periscope.
LSU $MCD Everyone knows that going to McDonald’s too often will likely lead to an early demise. The same can be said for visiting teams who venture into Baton Rouge. McDonald’s has hit a lull as a company. They are no longer everyone’s favorite burger joint, as the Whataburgers and In & Outs of the world have cut into their market share. Yet, McDonald’s still serves billions of people annually. LSU has seen their win totals diminish over the past few years, yet they still produce as much NFL talent as any program in the country.
South Carolina $ELY Callaway Golf Company is one of the most successful manufacturers of golf apparel in the world. Gamecock head coach Steve Spurrier was drawn to Columbia because of all the nice golf courses in the area. Spurrier is the Gamecocks program. It is doubtful that Callaway will steal market share from Nike any time soon, just as it is doubtful that South Carolina will win the Eastern division any time soon. Spurrier will continue to play golf and the Gamecocks will be a winning program as long as he is the head coach.
Vanderbilt $GEEK Internet America is a small internet service provider that will never compete with the large telecommunication companies out there. The same can be said for Vanderbilt‘s prospects for consistently competing in the SEC East. There will be outlier-type years like the period under James Franklin, but the ‘Dores cannot be expected to consistently compete for SEC championships.
Michael Taglienti is a Contributor at The Scoop. Follow him on Twitter at @MikeTag98.
