Takeaways from the Trenches –- Week 5

They say time flies when you’re having fun. Well, my mom has said it for years. And I’d bet she got it from her older—MUCH older and MUCH wiser—sister. And SHE likely got it from her boyfriend’s grandmother, who … well you get the picture. I’m not sure anyone knows where that phrase originated.

http://www.youngfreeroyal.com

But I’m here to say that fantasy football season time flies as well … even when NOT having fun. Or at least when not winning, which I’m experiencing far too often this fake football season. We just completed Week 5 already.

Really, doesn’t it seem like just yesterday we were gearing up to avoid the pointless Bob Costas and Hines Ward halftime editorial perspectives on opening night? I mean, come on, I have nothing against either guy—in fact, I’ve long been a huge Costas guy, and Ward was an on-field fav—but, truthfully, what do they bring to each broadcast? Serious question here. If someone knows, please tweet me.

In the meantime, let’s look at some high-or low-lights from Week 5. Some of these PPR stats are downright sick, I tell you. Sick, as in not good. Not sick, as in very cool.

Stats That Make You Go Hmmmm

• QB: So yeah. Austin Davis, Brian Hoyer and Kirk Cousins (against Seattle!) all finished with more Week 5 fantasy points than Andrew Luck, Drew Brees, Aaron Rodgers and Matt Ryan. Just as we all thought.
• QB Part Deux: In fact, both Davis and Hoyer EACH had more fantasy points than the combined total put up by Nick Foles and Matthew Stafford.
• RB: Ladies and gentlemen, I present your leading fantasy RB for Week 5 (PPR). One Branden Oliver finished with 34.2 points on 114 yards rushing, 68 yards receiving and 2 touchdowns. Paging Donald Brown. Paging Donald Brown.
• RB Part Deux: Oliver, undrafted out of Buffalo (college) after breaking James Starks school career rushing yardage record, scored more fantasy points than the combination of LeSean McCoy, Jamaal Charles, Giovani Bernard and Alfred Morris.
• WR: Three of the Top 10 WRs this week were Kendall Wright, (who scored more in Week 5 than combined prior three weeks), Brian Quick and Travis Benjamin.
• WR Part Deux: Taylor Gabriel, who cannot be higher than fifth in the ‘looks’ pecking order for Cleveland, finished with more fantasy points than Antonio Brown, Wes Welker, DeAndre Hopkins, Marques Colston, Julian Edelman and Steve Smith, Sr. Oh yeah, and more than Percy Harvin. [See below.]
• TE: Showing up in your Top 10 fantasy TE list for this week? Timothy Wright and Jim Dray, both backup TEs on their respective teams (NE and Cleveland). Yes, I love fantasy football. Really, I do love fantasy football. I keep convincing myself.

Quick Hits

1. Happy Fun Time with Tom and Bill: Have you witnessed a more annoying, yet comical, presser than Coach Belichick reminding the Boston media who the Patriots next opponent is?

   

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   Repeatedly? On every question? In his monotone drone? I may be getting this wrong, but I’m pretty sure The Hoodie was trying to let everyone know the Bengals were coming to town. I think. And then, Brady’s SNF touchdown celebration (Is that what that was?) took me right back to 7^th grade. From an outsider perspective, anyhow, those two seem like such polar opposites. I can just hear one of their conversations now.

TomTerrific: Hey, Coach, how’s it hanging?

Hoodie: We’re on to Buffalo, Tom.

TomTerrific: Whatevs. Have you seen the forecast yet?

Hoodie: [pause] Tom, you know we don’t focus on anything but the gameplan. It’s the Patriot way.

TomTerrific: Chillax, Coach. I just mean, will it be cold enough for me to wear my new Uggs? They’re totes amazeballs.

Hoodie: [irritated glare] We’re on to Buffalo.

2. Getting Percy’d: I’m starting this new phrase, which of course means getting ripped off, hoodwinked, swindled, victimized, bamboozled. You may recall me lamenting that in Week 2, I lost a matchup due to my opponent unfairly receiving touchdown points on a long run, when Percy Harvin actually stepped out of bounds. In other words, I got Percy’d. But I’m not bitter.

   

   NFL.com

   Well, it happened again in Week 5, when … not one, not two, but three times, Mr. Harvin scored on touchdown receptions. And all three were nullified by penalties. I’m sure I’m not alone here, but I lost a matchup where, this time, I owned him, and obviously didn’t receive those points. I’m starting a Percy Support Group. Won’t you join me?

3. Have You Lost Faith in Jesus? Clipboard Jesus, that is. Charlie Whitehurst entered the Titans game versus the Browns in the 2^nd quarter when—shockingly!!—Jake Locker got dinged up. His first three plays from scrimmage produced this stat line: 2 completions for 86 yards and 2 touchdowns.

   

   AP Photo/Mark Zaleski

   I think many believers had hands raised and were singing his praises. He didn’t make any game-changing mistakes on the stat sheet; yet he also wasn’t able to keep the Browns from changing water into wine … or more specifically, a 25-point deficit into victory. And now, rumblings in Nashville are that—assuming The Hurt Locker can’t go Sunday—the Titans may give rookie Zach Mettenberger a look against Jacksonville. Clipboard Jesus, let someone else take the wheel here. Believe me, there are an infinite number of puns to include in one short paragraph here. So many puns; so little space in this story. 

4. Throwback Top 10: A quick look at the Top 10 fantasy RBs (PPR), through Week 5, provides a couple of major surprise performers from the “After the Top 4” bunch (DeMarco, Forte, Le’Veon, Marshawn); you’ll want to sit down to hear #5, #6 and #8 on the list. That’s right folks, Justin Forsett, Ahmad Bradshaw and Fred Jackson occupy those spots. [Honestly, I’ve discount double-checked this three times to confirm accuracy, because I find it hard to believe.] They all three are part of a timeshare backfield, and their average age is 30—otherwise known as the fated cutoff point for NFL RBs. Granted, receptions play a huge role in all three cases, but it’s still something to watch for. As the season progresses, will the name backs—I’m looking directly at you, Charles, McCoy and Lacy—rise to the top of fantasy lists? Or will it be next man up, in other NFL cities? Speaking on behalf of old guys everywhere, here’s your reminder: Don’t count out the old guys.

Shhhh … Let’s Keep It Our Little Secret

I’m man enough to admit when I got it wrong.

• I said a Week 5 matchup with the Rams would be Shady McCoy’s slump-buster. Boy was I wrong. He barely topped the 10 point mark (PPR), essentially with volume (28 touches). But he’s still averaging less than 3 YPC and remains outside the Top 25 of fantasy RBs. At this point, you have to wonder if he can be counted on as a reliable RB2. Scary to think, much less, type that last sentence.
• So, I wasn’t alone on this one! I thought Bishop Sankey would dance like a star against the Brownies. As my friend @RotoPat said, “Did I say more touches for Bishop Sankey? LOL. Whoops. I meant fewer touches for Bishop Sankey. Sorry about that. Love, Whiz.” Seriously, 8 touches, and playing less than 1/3 of the snaps? That’s not gonna cut it for your most talented back. You listening to me, Tennessee Titans? I speak for all of #FantasyFootball Twitter.
• Jeremy Maclin entered Week 5 as the 6^th rated fantasy WR, averaging right at 18.3 points per game. I thought he’d slow a bit, with more target distribution from Napoleon Dynamite’s twin. I was wrong, and I’ll give the fantasy gods their due here for consistency. Maclin finished Week 5 as the 6^th rated fantasy WR, and scored right at 18.6 points.

My Arm CAN Reach Around To Pat Myself On The Back

I also pump my chest when I’m right because I’m the MAN!

• I will quote myself here; I said Demaryius Thomas “explodes back into relevance” in Week 5. Yeah. 8/226/2 isn’t a bad line. And 42.6 (PPR) fantasy points isn’t bad either. And it could have been even more explosive. Thomas had a 77-yard TD called back due to penalty.
• I predicted that Martellus Bennett’s fantasy value would slow, and I said it would be due to lowered targets. Shazam! Although playing 86% of the snaps, he was only targeted five times, resulting in three catches. He’d averaged 9 targets per game through four weeks. His 4.7 fantasy points were well below his 20.6 average. Sorry, Big Weirdo.
• So I picked Justin Forsett to have a good game versus the Colts. Fantasy owners like me were pleased with his 13 touches for 97 yards and a touchdown. Oh yeah, the 22.7 fantasy points didn’t suck either. Now, will it last? I have to ask, ya know, “Justin case”.

So, yeah, fun can come in many forms. In my case, I’ll say I’m having fun getting my ass kicked in a couple leagues. Yeah, that’s fun. But at least I always do my best to stay strong, show kindness and NO RAGRETS. You should too. Until next time …

[NOTE: This week’s NFL stats courtesy of ProFootballFocus.com. Fantasy stats courtesy of eDraft.com.]

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Jay Marks is the Fantasy Football Lead for The Scoop. Follow him on Twitter at @FFHottieAsst.

Friday’s First and 10 – Week 5 – A Crucial Catch Edition

We’ve made it to Week 5, and are officially into October. And we all know what that means, right? #OktoberFantasyFest, of course!

Associated Press

Is anyone unfamiliar with this latest trending hashtag? It represents all things Oc(k)tober: beer, brats, ball (of the American foot variety) and … and … boobs. That’s right; I said boobs right here in my column. Boobs. Hey, if the NFL goes all-out to put the cause on display front and center, to bring attention to the awareness of and raising funds for breast cancer via it’s wildly successful “A Crucial Catch” campaign—rumor has it that Lambeau Field’s frozen tundra will be dyed pink later this month—why can’t we?

Yes, many in the football world love the month as well. It even appears some tweeps are quite ready for the celebratory festivities. My good friend, @FFHottie, is encouraging others to plan ahead for this titillating display on October 13.

Gentlemen, mark your calendars and get your cameras ready! Coming soon to a female near you. #SaveTheTatas pic.twitter.com/3JwI466BYh

— More than just a pretty face (@615girl_) September 30, 2014

In all seriousness, we are 100% supporters, in order to heighten awareness. I know several women who champion the cause, being overcomers themselves. I know that Hottie’s mom is a breast cancer survivor, so is absolutely entitled to have fun with it.

Anyhow … It IS Friday, or as we know it: TGIFFF, Thank God It’s Fantasy Football Friday. So what are you looking for this week?

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The Book of Eli

I have long been an Eli apologist, at least privately.

Reuters

Hey, it’s not easy supporting that fake rapper, whiny face in public. But I’m coming out of the Eli Closet. My name is Jay, and I like Eli Manning. At least this week. Atlanta’s defense is porous, and they just lost their best defender, safety William Moore, until at least Week 13. They just gave up 8 for 132 to Jarius Wright. If you have Eli, Victor Cruz or Reuben Randle, start em. So, who’s with me?

Red Rover, Red Rover … Let Shady Come Over

Shady McCoy’s slow start is well-documented.

Eric Hartline/US Presswire

Through four weeks, McCoy is the 23^rd ranked (PPR) RB in fantasy. He’s averaged less than 1.5 YPC the past two weeks. Right tackle Lane Johnson returns this week, to give the Eagles three of their starting five on the offensive line. I tried to pry McCoy away from a couple other owners this week with a couple of buy-low offers. So that should tell you I’m seeing some light at the end of the Shade. I say the slump is broken this week.

Is Megatron Just a Mega-Decoy?

Calvin Johnson’s knee injury has his owners playing He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not the past couple of weeks.

Paul Sancya/Associated Press

Week 4 saw Calvin rack up 2 targets, 2 catches for 12 yards. Teary owners are left wondering if he’ll remain a decoy in Week 5. Just know this. Last year, he followed up a 3 catches for 25 yards performance in Week 6 with these two stat lines: 9/155/2 and then the monstrous 14/329/1 game versus the Cowboys. So, yeah, I think Mega will be just fine. Will it be this week at home against Buffalo? The matchup is there, so if healthy … look out. And if not now? He must be salivating for Weeks 7 & 8, when the Lions get New Orleans then Atlanta.

Bye Week Bye Bye

I’m in a league where my two best players, on paper, are Demaryius Thomas and Andre Ellington.

Jennifer Stewart/USA TODAY Sports

Not only have both started slowly—D Thomas is the 56^th ranked WR and AE is the 37^th ranked RB—both have been a wee bit banged up, and both are coming off a bye. I’m hoping each has had time to heal, while coaches have had time to gameplan them back to stardom. My real expectation? I think Demaryius explodes back into relevance, beginning this week, even against a tough Arizona defense. On the other side of the ball, I am not as confident; Ellington may wait a week. Then his next four opponents? Washington, Oakland, Philadelphia and Dallas. There should be some running lanes for Andre.

Big Weirdo Is Big-Time

So you know one of Martellus Bennett’s nicknames is Big Weirdo, right? Yeah, I discussed this already.

bearsfansonline.com

He’s the top tight end in fantasy. In part, due to his targets; he’s targeted only behind Jimmy Graham amongst TEs, and he’s OUT-targeting his high profile, big play WR teammates in Brandon Marshall and Alshon Jeffery. Do I think he will continue at this red-hot pace? I think he’ll slow down, and this week—especially if Marshall is healthy—I think you’ll see the big WRs get the targets against that struggling Carolina D.

Me No Likey Committees

I’m watching the RBBC/tandem/timeshares in about a dozen cities, but most notably in Tennessee.

AP Photo/AJ Mast

Has Bishop Sankey proven his dancing skills enough to carry the load for the Titans? He’s obviously the most talented in that backfield, and Cleveland gives up the 2^nd most points to opposing fantasy RBs, but coaches have been hesitant to hand over the reins. I wonder if telling the coaches that he’d applied for next season’s Dancing With the Stars would help his cause? I think he goes off this week.

Me No Likey Committees, Part Deux

… and Baltimore.

Karl Merton Ferron, Baltimore Sun

OK, I’ll be honest. I have no clue what to think of the Justin Forsett/Lorenzo Taliaferro/Bernard Pierce triple-headed monster. We all thought Pierce would be the man, if and when Ray Rice (pre-issues) was done. Then this past week, he was a healthy inactive? Really? I guess one would have to say Forsett would be the one to watch this week, as he’s getting the #1 RB reps. The Colts have given up four rushing TDs, so the potential is there. I’ll take Forsett. Until I don’t.

War Eagles

Another Philadelphia player I’m watching is Jeremy Maclin.

Eric Hartline-US PRESSWIRE

To date, he ranks #6 in fantasy (PPR), thanks in great part to his #2 ranking in targets. Yes, even in Chip Kelly’s offense-on-steroids scheme, he trails only Jordy Nelson for targets. I say he slows up, as Nick Foles likely spreads the ball around, limiting his targets, and the Eagles want to get back to running the ball. Am I saying drop Maclin? Um, no. I just think he may cool off a bit on his fantasy numbers.

Will Brady Bunch Be Cancelled?

All eyes are on Tom Terrific and his—how can I say this nicely?—less than stellar fantasy production in 2014.

You know which QBs have more fantasy points than Tom Brady this year? EJ Manuel, who has already been benched. Geno Smith, who might soon be benched. Ryan Tannehill, who was discussed to be benched. And this is just in his division! He’s also behind Kirk Cousins, Derek Carr, Brian Hoyer and Jake Locker, among 28 he trails. I do expect Brady to come around a bit, but not this week. The Bengals are pretty stout on defense.

10. Eats

So what are we eating in Week 5? Breasts, of course! See what I did, there? Boneless chicken breasts … fried, baked or grilled. Beer, but it needs to be somewhat highbrow, ya know? Perhaps an Evil Twin Bikini Beer? Again, see what I did, there? Maybe a Haymarket Angry Birds Rye IPA, from Chicago’s own Haymarket Pub & Brewery? It’s all about the flavor with them. Or what about a nice Widmer Brothers Hefeweizen . This beer even encourages you to put a lemon wedge in first, before drinking. Yeah, I think that goes with breasts.

So enjoy the pink-out games, the beer, football and raised awareness about … yes, boobs. And may your fantasy football team have a knockout performance this week. And always remember to stay strong, show kindness and NO RAGRETS.

[NOTE: This week’s NFL stats courtesy of ProFootballFocus.com. PPR fantasy stats courtesy of eDraft.com.]

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Jay Marks is the Fantasy Football Lead for The Scoop. Follow him on Twitter at @FFHottieAsst.

Tuesday’s Takeaways from the Trenches –- Week 3

Week 3 provided more fantasy ulcers, and literal pulling of hair and / or teeth (whichever happens to be your anger method of choice). Mine happens to be hair, which I yanked compulsively when Antonio Brown caught his second touchdown of the game Sunday night.

The League – FX

Just last year, 2013, I played in six fantasy football leagues. I had a winning record in all six, never lost two weeks in a row, made the playoffs in all, went to the championship in five and won four. Yes, my name last year was legally changed to The God. Or to others, LSP, which obviously stands for the Luckiest Sumbitch on the Planet. It was the perfect fantasy storm for me.

This year? Let’s just say I have already experienced a three-game losing streak, and have lost a game in every other league; I’m beyond lucky to have only one losing record. Now Week 4 hovers like a dark cloud of doom, with key players on bye weeks and longer term injuries looming with evil laughter. Here’s looking at you, Jamaal Charles, Arian Foster, AJ Green, Percy Harvin and Dennis Pitta. That’s a pretty decent lineup … all sitting on my bench for Week 4. I’m feeling like the perfect storm is about to rain all over me.

But quickly, before I jump off the fantasy bridge, let me shoot you some knowledge, fantasy football Week 3 style.

Stats That Make You Go Hmmmm

To quote one of my favorite old-school movies, Chevy Chase in Vacation, “This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy.”

• QB: Kirk Cousins and Austin Davis had more fantasy points than Peyton Manning, Drew Brees, Aaron Rodgers and Matthew Stafford.
• QB Part Deux: Rodgers and Stafford finished at number 28 and 32, respectively, amongst fantasy QBs in Week 3. Both played the full game, so no injuries to blame. That’s right; rookies Blake Bortles and Teddy Bridgewater outscored both, despite not starting or playing full games.
• RB: SIXTY RBs outperformed LeSean McCoy in fantasy points on Sunday. You read that right. SIXTY. On a day when the Eagles put up 30 offensive points. Yikes.
• RB Part Deux: Also, Shady, the reigning NFL rushing leader, rushed for 22 yards, and was outgained by THREE different guys on each of the following teams: Jacksonville, Buffalo, Tennessee and the Rams.
• WR: Houston’s Demaris Johnson (11.6 pts), 4^th string journeyman, outscored the combination of Megatron (8.2) and Randall Cobb (2.9). Wow.
• WR Part Deux: Arizona speedster, not abolitionist John Brown (17.2), scored more than Jordy (5.9), Cordarrelle (5.4) and Percy (4.2) combined.
• TE: One stat is all you need in the TE bullet point from this week. The Saints’ 3^rd string TE, Josh Hill, outscored some guy named Jimmy Graham 10.8 to 5.4. Commence weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Quick Hits

1. Will the Bishop Finally Trump the Field? Titans rookie Bishop Sankey—the first RB taken in this year’s NFL draft—finally got some quality snaps, carries and bit of production. His 70 total yards on 11 touches won’t scream “Bonanza!” to anyone, but he was their best offensive option Sunday against the Bengals. Hopefully for the Titans, he can continue the positive work. They need it.
2. Kickers Are People, Too? A couple weeks back, I pondered aloud—or at least in my laptop for all of you to read—if kickers are people, too. I came to the conclusion that they are, and can certainly help win, or in many cases, lose your fantasy week. Case in point. This week, I started the trifecta of Mason Crosby, Shayne Graham and Phil Dawson. (In three leagues, obviously. I’m not in some bizarro “Three Kicker” league. Though I’d bet there’s one out there somewhere.) Anyhow, between the three of these generally highly productive kickers, I got a total of 5 points.
3. Fireworks Bring an End to Summertime. The Philadelphia versus Washington game featured four of the top six fantasy WRs from Week 3, in Jeremy Maclin, Pierre Garcon, Jordan Matthews and DeSean Jackson. A fun game to watch, but defenses optional apparently.
4. From Hitman to Touchdown Maker. Jacksonville wideout Allen Hurns showed up on the scoresheet again this week. In three weeks, the rookie now has three touchdowns on seven catches. Can it last? I have my doubts, but if you’re in a TD heavy league, certainly worth watching.

5. 

   foxsports.com

   Who’s Feelin’ Lucky? Someone in Indianapolis, that’s who. After three weeks, one Amish Andrew Luck leads all of fantasy scoring. Now, about that facial furniture you got going on there, Andrew.

Shhhh … Let’s Keep It Our Little Secret

I can admit it. I was wrong.

• I said to start your Saints. Pretty much all of them. Brees showed up, to the tune of 293 yards passing with 2 TD’s. Beyond that? No one with a Saints jersey finished in the Top 65 scoring.
• Now, I didn’t say to sit DeMarco Murray or anything, but I also didn’t think he’d maintain his pace. I was wrong. He had 100 yards rushing, 31 yards through the air and a touch. Well done, DMurray. I have you in several leagues, so feel free to keep proving me wrong.
• Well, Colin Kaepernick’s tats came to play … and against a fairly stout Arizona D. Well done, bro. I didn’t think you’d show up like this. Passing: 245 and a touchdown; Rushing: 54.

My Arm CAN Reach Around To Pat Myself On The Back

I’m also not very humble. I’m the MAN!

• I said to temper expectations on James Jones, Darren Sproles and Andre Johnson. They say even a broken clock is right twice a day.
• I thought Jeremy Maclin would kick it, old-school, Sunday against the Washington football team. Um, yeah. I’d say he did. Eight catches for 154 and a touch. You did Show-Me. See what I did there? He attended U of Missouri.
• Knile Davis is the ultimate handcuff in the NFL. Presuming Charles didn’t go—which he obviously didn’t—I did figure roughly 100 total yards and a score for KD. His line? 132 yards rushing and a touchdown. Not bad for a fill-in against that Miami D.

Well gang, they say half the battle is showing up. So, I guess I’ll show up again for Week 4. Reluctantly, I’ll set my lineups. I’ll brag. And I’ll pout. I’ll try to get someone to take Stevan Ridley or Hakeem off my hands via trade, and effort to find a replacement for Dennis Pitta. My work is cut out for me. Good luck to you this week as well.

Meantime … stay strong, show kindness and NO RAGRETS.

[NOTE: This week’s Half-Point PPR scoring stats courtesy of NFL.com.]

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Jay Marks is the Fantasy Football Lead for The Scoop. Follow him on Twitter at @FFHottieAsst.